Life Isn't Fair: Choosing Progress Over Pity

Dr. Porrselvi A.P., PhD, Psychologist, Unified Brain Health Care, Arunai Neuro Foundation

Let's face a fundamental truth: life isn't a level playing field. The world doesn't hand out equal opportunities or privileges. Some are born with advantages others can only dream of. And sometimes, even when doors open for us, external forces – even the actions of those around us – can seemingly snatch those opportunities away. They scar us for life.

It's a valid feeling to acknowledge this unfairness. However, the crucial turning point lies in how we choose to respond to this reality.

If we allow ourselves to become consumed by the injustice, if we fixate on viewing the world as a hostile entity constantly denying us what we deserve, we risk trapping ourselves in a cycle of resentment. We become so focused on what we haven't got that we become blind to what we do have and receive.

This constant grumbling, this endless chorus of "why me?" acts as a powerful anchor, preventing us from moving forward. It's like perpetually staring at a closed door while ignoring the open windows beside it. We become so preoccupied with what we cannot do, with the perceived obstacles, that we fail to recognize and leverage the opportunities that are available to us and keep saying "I can't do this".

The art of navigating an unfair world lies in the ability to discern the good from the bad, to embrace the positive aspects of our circumstances, however small they may seem, and to learn from the negative without letting them define us. It's about shifting our focus from the perceived injustices to the tangible resources and strengths we hold within.

Whining and dwelling on limitations become self-fulfilling prophecies. They paralyze us, preventing us from taking the very steps that could lead to progress. The energy we expend on complaining is energy diverted from seeking solutions, from identifying alternative paths, and from cultivating the resilience needed to overcome challenges.

The world may not be fair, but our response to its unfairness is entirely within our control. We can choose to be victims of circumstance, forever lamenting what we lack. Or, we can choose to acknowledge the reality, identify our assets, and proactively navigate our own unique journey forward. The power to move ahead lies not in demanding a fair world, but in making the most of the one we inhabit.

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